How to talk to your friends/relatives during a bear market.
2 min read
Greetings, here are some tried and proven methods on how to talk to people in your life who know you are holding crypto during a bear market.
1. Feign ignorance.
Scenario: In a facetime call with your father and he asks you how “that bitmoney of yours is doing”.
Response: “Bitmoney? Haha (fake laughter) you mean bitcoin dad. I was just joking about getting into it. What is it even?”
2. Lie
Scenario: Your mother texts you asking what you did with Grandpa’s inheritance.
Response: “Oh (stalling language to give you more time to assemble your thoughts), I put it into a high-yield savings account. Why? Will you be needing it in about 9-10 months time?”
3. Redirect
Scenario: You leave your desk for a cup of coffee and your co-worker shouts “Hey! It’s Mr. Funny-Money!”
Response: “Hey! It’s Mr. Give-his-wife-a-black-eye-so-she-leaves-with-the-kids!”
4. Run
Scenario: Your wife is asking what happened to the money for the trip to Italy you were saving up for anniversary.
Response: “Hang on I need to take a piss (do not go to the bathroom, but instead leave the house and run to a neighboring city and register under a new identity)”.
5. Hide
Scenario: Your brother-in-law has tracked you down under your new identity of “Janice Maria Juan Hernandez” a trans-sexual erotic dancer, and phones you on your cell-phone.
Response: Do not pick up.
6. Gas-light
Scenario: Your boss is concerned about you because she noticed you stopped talking about cryptocurrency even though you were raving all about it throughout 2021.
Response: “Well actually cryptocurrencies are doing better than ever. Look (show her your crypto card), I can even buy my groceries and get 3% crypto-rebate with it (hold back tears)!”
7. Talk sense
Scenario: Some drunk walks up to you on the street and says “Cryptocurrencies are a fucking fraud man! I put all my savings into them and lost everything!”
Response: “Listen you degenerate urchin (clinch to deflect his attack), a bear market is a natural process of any economic environment (duck a punch). If you can’t handle the bear and hold, you don’t deserve the bull’s gold (parry his knife with your child).”
8. Admit that maybe you are over-leveraged and that ultimately your life is more important than money.
Scenario: The police are speaking to you over a loudspeaker as you stand on the rooftop of your 12 floor office building.
Response: “I’ll come down for a crunch wrap supreme, chicken quesadilla, loaded fries, and a case of beer. NO CILANTRO. I SWEAR I’LL JUMP IF YOU SCREW THIS UP.”
With these steps in mind, hopefully you can stall long enough until your portfolio recovers and you can face your friends/relatives/parole officers with a straight face again.
Edit: fixed some spelling.
submitted by /u/binthewin
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